Phish in a Barrel

And speaking of police seizures, we get the following press release from my local PD:
County police made 24 arrests at two Phish concerts at Merriweather Post Pavilion [#4!] this weekend and seized three vehicles containing drugs, as well as more than $2,000 in cash. Police also issued 22 alcohol citations for underage drinking.
If anything, I was surprised those numbers were so low.  The press release goes on to list the arrestees, and the charges agains them.  I thought this one was particularly interesting because it reads like a highlight reel of three really bad minutes in this poor guy's life; you can just picture his drug-addled thought process as the list unfolds:
Pxxxx D. Hxxx, 28, of Cincinnati, Ohio (drug distribution, drug possession with intent to distribute, second-degree assault, resisting arrest, other charges)