Seemed Cool Once

The Onion staff seems to be on summer vacation, and they're re-running a bunch of their greatest hits.  This one came up recently, and is one of my all-time favorites:
Dave Matthews Not That Into Himself Anymore
CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA—Dave Matthews, the 38-year-old singer and guitarist for the multi-platinum group The Dave Matthews Band, announced Tuesday that he is no longer into himself. 
"I used to be a hardcore Dave Matthews fan," said Matthews on the porch of his Virginia home. "I had all my records and posters. I was so blown away by everything I did—especially my live performances. I remember me and my buddies used to drive for hours just to go to one of our shows."... (continue reading.)
On a semi-related note, a few weekends ago I was hanging out with some college friends.  We took the requisite time to observe Clarence Clemons' passing and then noted that he and LeRoi Moore were members of a rather unusual fraternity:  deceased African-American saxophone players who rose to prominence as members of bands noted for their unparalleled live performances.  We racked our brains trying to think of a third man, but couldn't.  Phish is all white guys from Vermont, right?  E-mail me if you think of someone we're missing here.