Bacon Neck

Not long ago Hanes identified (or invented) a new problem apparently plaguing men throughout the first world. They even performed a public service by highlighting this problem with a clever and memorable ad.

When I first saw the ad, I laughed at the poor guys who'd be foolish enough to obsess over their wrinkly-collared undershirts. But, much like George Costanza's jingle, the message embedded itself into my sub-conscious.

On a recent morning, to bring things full-circle, I found myself pulling an old t-shirt from the bottom of my drawer - a Hanes t-shirt, mind you! - and looking with supreme dissatisfaction at its ripply collar. How can I go out in public wearing this?

So now I need to upgrade all my non-bacon-neck Hanes t-shirts? To new bacon-neck-proof Hanes t-shirts? Diabolical geniuses!